Dave Portnoy Will Be President Someday, Kirk Minihane Predicts

We all know there’s been some bad blood between Dave Portnoy and Kirk Minihane ever since the wildly successful, up-by-his-boot-straps entrepreneur from Massachusetts finally accepted Dave’s standing offer to work at Barstool Sports.

First, Minihane went and embarrassed the shit out some hack politician who was giving Dave some trouble. How did Dave repay this kindness? By immediately tweeting that Minihane wasn’t a Barstool employee the moment a frivolous lawsuit arrived. Cold, man, cold.

Then Minihane rightly reminded Dave of Barstool’s roots and called out the Disneyfication that has happened under Davey Mouse. How did Dave repay this gentle fatherly guidance? He pulled a Rappaport and started insulting the intelligence of the Minifans, who are now legally Stoolies. Not cool.

All that’s in the past now that Davey Mouse has become Dave “Union Buster” Portnoy, challenging 29-year-old former bartenders from the Bronx to enter the Thunderdome for a political disputation on the merits of organized labor.

After the trolling master class Portnoy put on this week, Minihane is already coming to terms with life under President Portnoy. Since he wouldn’t do well in a forced labor camp, he’s on board for PORTNOY 2024.