Police Are Searching For A Guy Who Broke Into A Woman's House, Ate One Corn Dog (1) And Left

The Smoking Gun- A corn dog thief is on the loose in South Carolina, police report. A Myrtle Beach woman told cops that she returned to her home yesterday afternoon and found a male intruder “just inside her door eating a corndog.” The 30-year-old victim said that she recognized the man as someone she had met last year (but whose name she did not recall). When confronted by the homeowner, the suspect “said he was hungry and stopped by to get something to eat,” according to a Myrtle Beach Police Department report. The suspect peddled away from the crime scene on a bicycle owned by the woman, who told cops that her phone was also missing.

What an unsettling story. Mercy. This story shook me to my core. He ate just one (1) corn dog? Then didn’t take anything else and left? What the fuck man? That’s the most bizarre shit I’ve ever heard. I’d honestly rather have a robber ransack my home then light it on fire rather than break in and eat one (1) corn dog and leave. At least give me the dignity of burning my fucking house to the ground. Don’t take (1) corn dog and casually leave, you goddamn psycho.

If you’re the person who lives at that house you gotta start questioning everything about your home. Like why did the guy pick your house of all the houses on the block to barge into and eat one (1) corn dog? What is it about that house that says, “Come on in! Don’t be scared. Eat a corn dog and then be on your way my good man”? The girl even caught him! She caught him redheaded and he nonchalantly was like, “Uhhh what does it look like I’m doing? I’m hungry so I’m eating a corn dog from your house.” Then he rode off on her bike! He’s gonna be back. No doubt about it. He dominated his first appearance so there’s for sure gonna be more. That house is more his than it is hers to be honest.

Just for kicks, here’s the funniest corn dog-related scene in a movie

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WE DON’T EVEN GOT CORN DOGS!