REPORT: There's So Much Cocaine In Britain That Literally ALL Of The Wildlife Is Getting High
The British Government:
Literally all the wild life
And when I say literally I don’t mean like a girl who “literally can’t even”. I mean literally like fucking LITERALLY all of the wildlife
(UPI) – An analysis of wildlife in British rivers has revealed the presence of trace amounts of cocaine and pharmaceuticals, raising fresh concerns about the proliferation and persistence of harmful chemicals in freshwater.
Scientists at the University of Suffolk in England tested freshwater species at 15 different sites in the county of Suffolk, the results of which were published this week in the journal Environmental International.
Cocaine was found in 100 percent of the analyzed samples.
The United Kingdom has become the cocaine capital of the world. I was surprised by this to be honest. I would’ve pegged New York or LA as the cocaine capital. Two cities filled with either rich traders or beautiful entertainment people. It’s a rich person’s drug, at least in my wholesome awshucks midwestern brain, and those are posh people. I googled “Great Britain cocaine” to confirm and…YEP
More cocaine than anywhere else. So much so that it’s in their run-off water that gets into the ecosystem. You could get high on sushi rolls in the UK there’s so much, apparently. So I guess my suggestion to Londoners…stop doing cocaine in the bathroom. There is no need to hide. Literally your entire country is high. You’re wasting so much by doing it in places near drains. Cut it up on the table, get snickered, go on with your night. That is how British common law works, I’m pretty sure. Can’t get in trouble if literally everyone is doing it. People will be saving money against wasted cocaine and that’ll pump back into the economy. Everyone wins. Except for the fresh water shrimp who will now have to swim upstream without any uppers.