Reflecting On The Life And Times Of White Sox Dave

It’s been White Sox Dave week here at Barstool Chicago for better or worse. And judging by your feedback that’s the latter but I suppose it’s worth noting Dave has moments of decency and contribution. But remember that’s also coming from me: a noted loose cannon that represents everything WSD hates. I’ll concede before we even continue that deep down there’s a bond. I don’t know what kind of bond but we’ve been through some shit together. I’m in a position to write this blog in the first place in large part to our joined efforts at a time no one – and I really mean no one – gave a fuck about me or him. So of course there’s a bond. Kill me. He’s a not a bad guy.

Granted he’d much rather argue with you about seemingly every fucking thing under the sun, but there’s still some gray space in there that can be described as Fine. Chief had stronger words in a recent blog White Sox Dave Is Hiring A Manager:

Hate to see it, and I mean that genuinely. I’m a WSD guy. Good guy. I believe in him. WSD knows he needs to get back to the 9-9-9 challenge version of WSD.

I’m not on that end of the spectrum to the point that I would routinely describe him as the bane of my existence, but you get it. Dave’s worth standing up for at least in this instance.

So let me give some credit to WSD that in his limited opportunities, he can really light the world’s panties on fire. Intentional or not, he’s got a nose for theater and it’s worth celebrating as we say goodbye to the 1st of what I would guess is many WSD Weeks at Barstool Chicago.

If you can make it through all this and not cheer for him just a little then you probably don’t like (under)dogs. Sucks to be you.

Mouse Gate

I’ve heard this one explained 17,000 times and it never gets easier to listen to or understand. That’s the mystery behind WSD and last time I checked being mysterious revs the babes up.

This Random Cribs Episode You Probably Didn’t Watch

Find a peer that would willingly and confidently walk you through their apartment like that. Show me someone with that much self deprecating pride. You can’t.

Cinnamon Challenge

If someone has video of this please let me know but basically back in the day before KFC was interviewing celebrities, he used to have guys like WSD and BarstoolJJ on his show. Talk about a real come up but that’s a different blog. For now, just know that there was a bet made and lost by WSD requiring him to eat a spoonful of cinnamon. It went as well as you’d expect, but the important thing is he went out and tried.

999 Challenge

I sat next to him and filmed the whole thing. I can still smell the hot dogs.

Tryouts 1

Trying out for an unaffiliated minor league baseball team just cuz we wanted to grow our brand. That’s the WSD I know. A guy willing to take a full day of PTO to drive out to Crestwood with me to forge his age on the application so he could throw down to second base a few times. It’s all about the game reps with Dave.

Bandits

Dave challenged Jenny Finch but she backed down. Instead they sent out SEC 3 time pitcher of the year or some shit and she gassed WSD like you read about. Personally it was the highlight of my career at Barstool Sports and at this point I wasn’t even hired.

91 MPH

Nothing to see here.

Field Goal

Credit to Dave he actually hit the kick in rigid temperatures through a naturally narrow upright. I’m willing to bet less than 1 out of 10 of you hit this kick but not really because I’m not organizing some fucking kicking contest here. Just writing a blog.

BUBBLE GUM GATE

The granddaddy of them all. One of the best videos on the internet right up there with Boom Goes The Dynamite. Just a man and his gum slugging it out for 15 rounds in front of a local television audience. Nothing makes me happier or laugh harder than thinking about Dave that night.

And again, major repeatable them is Intentional Or Not. That’s the beauty of WSD. Keeps you on your toes at all times with unrestrained incredulity or as Kmarko so eloquently put it:

Welcome to the club Keith. Dave’s been running laps in my brain for years at a 12/minute/mile pace which reminds me of the last one.

Marathon Dave

Dave ran the marathon a few years back. At the time, I wrote something nice about him on this website. I literally can’t believe I typed this but I suppose it’s worth noting there was a time in history I was willing to say a nice thing about him on the record.

Seriously though I’ve spent so much time with Dave since we started Red Line Radio in January and he has been legitimately sober every step of the way for this race. Every time I offer him a beer, which is quite frequent, he has said “not till I finish this fucking marathon.” Imagine the shit I was giving him in FEBRUARYmuch less August. And all along the way this dude has been relentless about his commitment to running his marathon for charity, and doing it in the fastest time imaginable. A guy who consistently loses his debit card, carries a BMI north of what anyone would be willing to admit with self-respect, and honestly cannot keep his attention for longer than 8 seconds… that’s the guy who has transformed himself into Hacksaw Ridge when it comes to long distance running.

Dave deserves your respect. This accomplishment deserves your respect. As such, we will be celebrating accordingly tomorrow at Declan’s in Old Town following the race. We will be getting loaded and hopefully carrying Dave home after the race because he has earned it.

I may hate his fucking guts on a regular basis, but I have never been more proud of a good buddy. I’m lucky to have him in my corner. Tonight belongs to the Cubs, but tomorrow morning is property of WhiteSoxDave.

Finishing time just over 5:20 and while you laugh, he’s the only one in Chicago HQ that will ever run 26.2 that’s an absolute guarantee.

Now do this stupid challenge video series so I don’t have to write one of these fucking blogs again.