Breaking Up A No Hitter With A Bunt Single Should Be Punishable By Death

Last night my Fighting Illini played Grand Canyon University in an NCAA sanctioned baseball game. Along the way, Illinois starting pitcher Andy Fisher lost a no-hitter in the 8th inning when GCU 3rd baseman Tyler Wyatt push bunted his way onto first base. Obviously that’s disappointing:

The reasons for which are quite simple. It’s a no-hitter in the desert against metal bats. The pitcher will be interning at a logistics company in 4 months. There’s 6 outs left in the game. The home team is already getting cooked 5-0. Probably most telling though is that college ball is all about getting you to pro ball. And to that, every scout from every team would say two things: (a) this is fucking bush league and (2) even if you want to argue that college baseball is all about winning the team game, it’s not. It’s primarily about furthering your individual career and giving you a shot at the pros. Push bunting against a no-hitter in the 8th inning is going to make a scout’s dick crawl into his stomach even more so than Tyler Watt’s .188 batting average but I digress. The point is and remains that doing this is bush league.

Naturally, this brings out the haters. The people that think the unwritten rules of baseball need to crawl in a hole and die. They say it’s only about winning and blah blah blah. If you don’t like it, stop it. Sure fine whatever but we’re talking about a bunt single to break up a No No in the 8th. When did we start abandoning decency?

2019 should be a banner year for Unwritten Rules. The tension across MLB is at an all time high and with robot umpires lurking it’s only getting worse. Fingers crossed that no matter how much it changes, you’ll always be able to drill the guy who bunts to break up a no hitter in the 8th. Fuck that guy.