Florida Man Tells His Jailers the Syringes in His Butt Aren't His
Source – A Florida Man denied ownership of three syringes removed from his rectum during a 4:30 AM strip search at a county jail, according to a criminal complaint.
Cops arrested Wesley Scott, 40, early Friday on an outstanding warrant charging him with drug possession. While being searched in the field, Scott denied having any illegal items concealed on (or in) his body.
But when Scott, seen at right, arrived at the Pinellas County jail and was subjected to a strip search, he “removed three syringes from his rectum and provided them” to a jailer. Scott then claimed that he “found” the syringes and that “they were not his.” …
The court filing does not reveal whether Scott named the purpoprted owner of the syringes that had been found in his rectum.
Here’s a great life lesson for us all, courtesy of Florida resident Wesley Scott. In case you find yourself in a tight situation – say, for an example, with three syringes up your ass in a county jail – have a plan. Don’t just blurt out the first thing that pops into your head. Something stupid like, “Looks like you’ve got me, officer. I obviously keistered those needles because I really enjoy shooting up opiates and was hoping I wouldn’t get caught.” That would be idiotic.
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Instead, have an excuse ready at all times. And you can never, ever go wrong with these three simple words: “I don’t know.” Or some variation.
Say, Wesley, how’d those syringes get up your sphincter? I don’t know.
Hey OJ, how is it your blood is all over these stabbing victims and their blood is all over you? Beats me.
Mr. Oswald, the President was shot with your rifle. How do you explain this? [Exaggerated, hands-up shrug]
It’s the perfect alibi for anything. They want to know how the needles got in your butthole, answer, “You tell me.” They ask who they belong to, you give them the reserve ask of, “I don’t know. Who???” These cops are public servants. Let them do their jobs and figure it out. Tell them there are probably a thousand ways somebody else’s drug paraphernalia could end up in an innocent ass crack and to get on it before it happens to the next guy. Wesley Scott might be an incarcerated 40-year-old junkie and a leech sucking blood from the neck of society, but the man knows how to talk his way out of trouble. Lesson learned.