Everytime Somebody Writes A Hit Piece About Me Barstool Becomes More Powerful

So Univision/Deadspin wrote another article about me today. No this is not deja vu.  For those keeping score at home this is like the 100th straight day they have written about me. It’s a long article about how much I suck, blah, blah, blah. How I have no morals. (This coming from a company who went bankrupt for posting illegal sex videos and a company who once posted an alleged sexual assault video from Indiana University and refused to take it down till I actually exposed the emails of the girl begging to have it deleted) But that’s neither here nor there. We are Deadspin’s new ESPN. We are the company that everybody is talking about and I’m the straw that stirs the drink.

Anyway this article brought up a point I’ve been talking about today. I’ve never felt more powerful in my life. I’ve never felt more beloved by the Stoolies. All the backlash that has come from the ESPN deal was actually a blessing in disguise. Stoolies wondered whether the old Dave was dead when I did the Chernin deal. Whether the content was going to change. Whether I was going to go mainstream. I swore up and down that it would never happen. That as long as I was at the helm of this pirate ship Barstool will always be Barstool. But the ESPN deal made people wonder. Had I finally sold out? Well nobody is wondering anymore.

Sure Dan and PFT have gone mainstream. Stoolies have known that’s been Big Cat’s plan for awhile. And it’s great. He is out flying the flag In International Waters. It wildly helps us. He’s a Barstool guy through and through. But me? It’s a pirate’s life for me. I can’t bite my tongue. I can’t turn the other cheek. Never been able to. Never will. I don’t do it for pageviews and clicks. I just say whatever I’m thinking. I sling it and don’t give a fuck what people think of me. I have confidence in my moral compass and my sense of humor to let it fly. I have a long track record and testimonials from everybody I’ve ever worked with that I’m blunt, fair, and honest.  That I’m the same dude on and off camera.  Sure there have been times I wish I used different adjectives in my rants or was clearer about shit so enemies couldn’t twist my words. But for the most part I stand by everything I’ve ever said and done. Barstool being the king of the Internet isn’t an accident. It’s because I worked harder, longer and faster than everybody else. I hired great guys. Guys nobody else would hire and gave them a platform to become stars.

It’s our anti establishment/fuck you attitude that built barstool from something I started in my basement into the most feared, loved, hated company on the internet. The only thing I’d change if I could go back in time is that I wouldn’t change anything. And everytime Barstool is embroiled in controversy our core grows stronger. People who have been with me for 15 years tighten their belt buckle and get ready for war. Controversy doesn’t hurt us. It makes us stronger. Experts have predicted our demise so many times I’ve lost count.   You don’t destroy us.  We destroy you.  Why?  Because Barstool is the silent majority. It always has been and there has never been a need for it more than in today’s political climate. Stoolies are people who have a sense of humor. They are people who have raised millions for charity. They are people who like to drink beer and have fun. They like having sex. It is people looking for escapes from their miserable cube lives. They know when to be serious and when to joke.  We aren’t political. We aren’t miserable fucks. We’re just a bunch of dudes and girls trying to have fun on the internet and don’t give a rat’s ass what people think about us.  Nobody has the right to tell us what we can laugh at and what we can’t.  And everytime somebody writes a hit piece about us we get stronger and my grip on the internet tightens. So thank you Deadspin.  I may have just given you a few thousand pageviews, but you just made me another million dollars so keep it coming.