Antonio Brown Follows Up His Latest Act of Stupidity With His Latest Insincere Apology

Antonio Brown on Instagram:

“First and foremost, I’d like to apologize to my family, friends and anyone who I offended. I never once meant to make anyone feel like I wasn’t thankful and appreciative of the opportunity that I was afforded to play the game I love. I’ve worked hard over the years to earn a chance to compete in the greatest game on earth. Over the years I was met with challenges and I can honestly say I didn’t handle those challenges in the manner that I should have. Over the past few weeks I’ve had the opportunity to think about everything that’s transpired and I am deeply sorry to all who I’ve offended. While my behavior was inexcusable, sometimes when people are coming at you with false information and allegations, we handle ourselves in ways that we sometimes regret. I do take full responsibility for my actions and I’m working everyday to repair what I broke. I do know that if I’m ever given the opportunity to play the game that I love, I’m going to work extremely hard to show the world how much I appreciate another chance. To the organizations that I offended, I offer my sincere apology to you and my hope is that you forgive me and help me move on from this minor setback. I look forward to competing and helping a team reach their goals.”

Let’s review, because it’s all happening so fast it’s hard to keep up and I get confused easier than I used to. In the middle of the game Sunday night, with the Patriots struggling on offense, Antonio Brown posted a video of “All I Want for Christmas is You” with the one highlight play of his Patriots career. Then he followed that up by reposting something about a certain owner with certain fingers stuck up a certain body part:

And now we get this improbably well-crafted, stylishly worded, grammatically perfect apology. With all the sincerity of any non-specific apology written by an attorney that doesn’t mention what the supposed speaker is apologizing for.

So that would put us where, exactly? Here:

And another round of half the people I know reminding me the Patriots made a mistake to cut him loose when they did and it’s time for Mr. Kraft to back off and make Tom Brady happy by bringing this unstable crackpot back. Because the difference between them getting bounced out in the first round of the playoffs and Banner No. 7 is indulging this smug, self-possessed, ego-maniacal, solipsistic, team-killing, narcissistic manchild. Because this time he means it. This is the one team that can control him. Because 31-year-olds can change and he’s going to come back a better, more mature and suddenly super dependable.

And because an Instagram post written in lawyerspeak carries a lot more weight than the other 1,000 times he’s gone off the rails over a 10 year career. Got it.

No sale. Give me a healthy Mohamed Sanu, Julian Edelman, Phillip Dorsett, N’Keal Harry and Jakobi Meyers and I’ll take my chances. Like I said a couple of days ago, they’ve won championships with less. And won zero championships with dopes like Antonio Brown.

So please don’t subject me to AB talk all weekend. I beg you. There’s a reason why the other 31 teams have no interest in him either.