The Daily News Putting Jacob deGrom And Noah Syndergaard In Yankees Jerseys Has Me Feeling TRIGGERED

What the fuck is this, Daily News? As if the Mets going from the best team in baseball to the 4th best team in the NL East in a month wasn’t bad enough, now I have to look at pictures of our two best pitchers wearing the uniform of the Evil Empire? That’s just enough to make me a Post guy.

Look I get that zany trade ideas and Photoshops move units in the dying print media industry. I’m sure we are two weeks away from LeBron getting slapped with a Knicks jersey for the 1 millionth time in his career because he has David Fizdale’s number in his phone. But don’t throw Big Balls Jakey and Thor in pinstripes unless a trade has been signed, sealed, and delivered. Now Mets fans will have to hear from douchebag Yankees fans just how good those two would look in pinstripes. No need to use the imagination when its on the backpage of a fucking rag. Yes I know the entire article is about how a trade hypothetically makes sense for the Mets to trade one of these guys to the Yankees and common sense says the Mets would never trade either of them to the Yankees because it would torture their fans, regardless of if it was a great haul. But this is the New York Mets. Common sense went out the window for that franchise a loooong time ago.

To be honest, despite being older and having more injury issues, shipping deGrom to the Bronx would hurt me a lot more than Thor going there. Jacob deGrom is my favorite Mets pitcher of all-time and I don’t know if it’s even close. I love Noah too and seeing his hair get chopped off would be like watching Anakin Skywalker throw on that all black everything Darth Vader suit. Nonetheless, fuck the Daily News for doing this in order to sell a few tabloids. They have officially been REBUKED.

P.S. I know that this is about Mark Teixeira’s comments, but I guarantee Tex said the same exact thing once the Cano suspension came down, with an “I’ll tell you what boy” in front of it.