Edit at 10:43: the tag was Starbucks in the tweet so I went with it. The jokes still stand. Thank you.
I have never wanted sound for a video like I need sound for this video. Here’s what happened in my opinion.
The lady walks in and starts talking about how she doesn’t understand why sizes cant be called small, medium, or large. The barista, a lovely fellow who can whip up a delicious drink in no time, says that the cup sizes arent his call but that tall, grande, and venti have essentially worked themselves into the American lexicon.
The woman disagrees. She asks for a medium white peach green tea and the gentleman relays the order to his associate. “Grande white peach green tea.”
The lady flips out and says, “It’s a fucking medium. I’ll show you a grande” and poops on the floor.
I wish it all would have stopped there. Regrettably, the woman then picks up the poop and throws it at the young fella. I feel like that’s where she made a huge mistake. You cant poop on the floor and throw it. It’s one or the other. You either poop on the floor or you throw something. You certainly cant throw the poop.
And, I dont want to hear that this was an emergency situation. If your poop comes out in a log like that, it wasn’t an emergency and that will hold up in court. She scooped it up like it was a routine grounder to second base. Emergencies require backblast spray. That poop was as regular as they come, so she clearly didnt have to go. One wipe, everyone knows the rules. One wipe.
Oh, and the reason why I wanted sound wasnt so that I could hear the argument. I wanted to hear the plop of the poop on the floor. I bet it was an all-time plop. Incredible.