How Much Did You LOVE To See Me Strikeout In Slow-Pitch Softball?
As my colleague Jared Carrabis has showed me over the past month, there are things you hate to see and things you love to see in life. I’m going to go out on a limb and say witnessing the most hated guy in the entire office, by readers and co-workers, striking out swinging in slow-pitch intramural softball is something the world LOVED to see. Whether you saw this yesterday, or right now for the first time, it 100% brought a giant smile to your face when you saw my asshole self go swinging at a ball above my head. I assume a few of you might have been having a rough day out there being Red Sox fans and seeing your team lose your enormous division lead in the snap of a finger. I’m happy I could brighten your day seeing my balding head go chasing and coming up miles short.
I know my co-workers LOVED to see it, to zero surprise.
Old Takes Exposed not a co-worker, but using Carrabis’ Craig Kimbrel out of coins line here was well-played.
Obviously the Spidah Monkey.
My own boss at 1AM
And the HAPPIEST guy on the Earth, Young Pageviews
If the memory has escaped your brain, YP struck out swinging last year and has worn the burden ever since in this office. Now he’s got company at last. I’m glad I could help out a fellow co-worker get out of his hole.
Trent also struck out swinging yesterday, but the entire world loves our Iowa boy. Clearly him losing close to 50 pounds allowed him to generate too much swing speed.
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But me? No I’m the perfect guy for this to happen to. You already hated me for my haircut I got last October that many of you think I still have. You already hated me because I’m a Green Bay Packers football fan, even though rooting for the Packers has caused me more pain in my life than anything with the way lose in the playoffs every year. Oh and you REALLY hate me for how obnoxious a Yankees fan I have. The videos we released from Yankees Stadium showed that when we lay all the cards on the table I’m the exact weasel asshole Yankees fan KFC stereotypically despises more than life itself.
So you’re welcome. You’re welcome for me providing you with the content of this strikeout. I’m a content guy. You guys love to hate me more than finding $20 on the floor. Sometimes I’ve got to give you guys moments like this week to keep you going. What’s funny is I didn’t even plan on playing in this game. Jared and I weren’t going to the Yankee game and instead I was going catch an early bus home in time to see first pitch. Brett pleaded with me to play because they were short on guys. Did Office Manager/Program Director/Chief of Content Brett Merriman do it again or did he do it again? Someone promote this guy again.
I did have to go into the merch room and throw on a pair of KFC’s quilted joggers (extremely comfy) because all I had was jeans to play in. Now I have these bad boys and I’ll never take them off inside the house. Jokes on you guys.
P.S. No one will talk about the missile I launched in my next at bat for a home run, but I wouldn’t expect you to. If you strike out in slow pitch softball you deserve to get berated like I’m getting. Give me your hate. Feed it to me.