A Formal Petition For The NHL To Force New Carolina Hurricanes Head Coach Rod Brind'Amour To Go Tarps Off Behind The Bench
Big news today as the Carolina Hurricanes officially announced Rod Brind’Amour as their new head coach. Brind’Amour won a Stanley Cup with the Hurricanes in 2006. He’s been an assistant coach with the Hurricanes since 2011. And after Bill Peters got shit-canned after missing the playoffs in all 4 of his years in Carolina, Rod the mother freakin’ Bod has been named his replacement today.
And with Rod Brind’Amour officially becoming a head coach in the National Hockey League today, it is time for the NHL to finally do away with their antiquated rule that requires coaches to wear suits behind the bench. Because The Bod deserves to be unleashed.
I’ll tell you what. This could be exactly what the Carolina Hurricanes have been missing. Because here’s the thing–the Hurricanes are a bunch of bums. Every year they are everybody’s “trendy” pick to make the playoffs. And every year they come up short. They haven’t been to the playoffs since 2008-09 yet everybody always pipes them up in the beginning of the year. It makes no sense.
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But now imagine you’re a team who has to go to Carolina to play and you know that waiting for you there at PNC Arena is this jacked up slab of meat going tarps off and ready to put you through a goddamn wall. And allowing Brind’Amour to go shirtless behind the bench would also help foster a culture of complete savagery in the Hurricanes’ organization. With Brind’Amour as the head coach, nobody on Carolina’s payroll will be allowed to leave the facility. You eat, sleep and live in the weight room unless you’re on the road for an away game. Even then, they’re not staying in a hotel unless the gym in the hotel has dumbbells that go above 60 lbs.
All I’m saying is that the Carolina Hurricanes have an entirely new regime here. They’ve got a new owner. A new general manager. A new head coach and the #2 pick in the draft. It’s time for them to shake things up here and what better way to cause a shake up than by having Rod The Bod be the first head coach in NHL history to go TOFTB on the bench?