St. Patrick's Day Collection | T-Shirts, Hoodies, Crewnecks, Hats, FlagsSHOP NOW

I'll Be Honest. I'm Getting Real Sick And Tired Of Watching Patrick Kane Drink Gatorade

You see. Here’s the thing with major sporting events. Every time there is a major sports tournament on, you eventually start to see the exact same commercials 500 million times over the span of a few days/weeks/couple of months. The longer these tournaments go on, the more and more these commercials drive you insane. Like take March Madness for example. By the time the Final Four rolls around, you are able to recite whichever commercial Northwestern Mutual has been running non-stop all tournament long in it’s entirety. And not in a fun, quirky way. But in a “I swear to god if I have to see this commercial one more time I am going to blow my brains out” way.

Well the commercial that has been eliciting that reaction so far during these Stanley Cup Playoffs is the Patrick Kane “reeeeaaaallllllll smooth” Gatorade spot. Now I’ve never had anything against Gatorade. I think it’s a perfectly fine sports beverage. I’ve always been more of an All Sport kinda guy myself but Gatorade gets the job done as well. And like I said, I’ve never had anything against Gatorade in the slightest. But if I have to watch Patrick Kane and Duncan Keith act like they’ve never once drank a liquid substance before I am going to become strictly a Powerade guy. And you know what? Powerade is actually really fucking good so it’s not like this was going to be a difficult decision to make in the first place. I hate to be an ultimatum guy here but Gatorade either needs to find a new commercial or they’re going to have to find a new customer. Pick your poison, hombres.

P.S. – Want to know what else is reaaallllll smooth? Missing the playoffs the year after you got swept out of the first round. Boom.