How about this move from Barstool Nate. Checking himself into the hospital this morning to get his crippling stomach pain scoped out and listing me as his emergency contact without ever asking me or telling me? Is that the most aggressive co-worker move ever? I don’t think I’ve ever even been listed as a girlfriend’s emergency contact yet Nasty Nate Dogg decided that I’m his best, most trustworthy friend in the world a few hours before undergoing surgery.
And don’t let that initial text fool you. “Any interest.” The hospital literally won’t let him leave unless I come and get him because I’m his emergency contact. So it’s basically leave the guy alone and friendless and family-less at a fucking health clinic for the day and night or go pick his ass up. And no chance his insurance is good enough to cover a stay that long. What a Spider Monkey.
Luckily for him I’ve got an image to uphold as a good guy on Twitter right now so my hands are tied. This is why I keep so quiet in my corner and never take my headphones off. Once you start letting people think you care about them they walk all over you.
If I don’t get a David at the Dentist video out of this and get enough viral views and Google Adsense dollars and an invite on Ellen I’m gonna punch Nate right in his ulcer.