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DJ Khaled Will Not Spin Tongue-Tables On Wife's Album (Clitoris)

Hey, I get it, man. Vaginas are scary. There’s all sorts of crevices, creases, flaps and buttons down there, and no two models are alike.

And DJ Khaled is simply not ready to face(fuck) it yet. His song ‘Welcome To My Hood’ is not about the one covering the ‘old clit-a-roon. In an interview that just resurfaced, he says,

I believe a woman should praise the man, the king… And the man should praise the queen. My way of praising is called: ‘How was dinner? You like the house you livin’ in? You like all the clothes I bought you?’

When asked specifically if he goes down to Mythical Clitoris Town, he said,

“Nah man, I don’t do that.”

In his defense, he’s only 42 years old and he’s only had, give or take, about 3 decades of sexual experiences. You don’t go careening into the bushes, you ease into it.

In face, I’m not even mad. It’s kind of intriguing… DJ Khaled won’t give me an orgasm? What’s up with that? What do I have to do to change his mind? He must be withholding because he knows we couldn’t handle it. Makes me want it even more… oh God…

In defense of his wife – have you seen the size of that guy’s melon? You’d have to do biceps at the gym every day for a month to be able to push that clunker down.

You know what Mrs. Khaled, if I were you, I’d get crackin’ on that.