Advertisement

Man With Cane Has Suspect Trippin' And I Definitely Would Have Done The Same

Ugh. This is the stuff of dreams… You do something awesome and it’s caught on camera for the world to admire.

It’s not like I spend too much time thinking about scenarios like this, but could you imagine if like, a terrorist jumps up on the plane and I leap across the isle, grab him by his maroon XL polo shirt collar and stab him in the jugular with my Pilot Varsity Disposable Fountain Pen, saving the lives of 217 people while several of them film on their phones and send to news sites immediately?
Or if like, a gray 2014 Dodge Grand Caravan careens off the road in front of me and I instantly Tokyo Drift my 2003 CR-V to the side of the road in a cloud of dust. I grab my dad’s old Callaway pitching wedge from under my front passenger seat, where it’s kept for road rage purposes, and run down a small embankment. Smashing the windows, I’m able to pull out 3 adorable children and a puppy, who I revive with mouth-to-mouth in the grass. But the driver seems sketchy. Whispers from these scared cherubs tell me he’s a human trafficker. Using the top end like a pool cue, I smash his temple through the window and knock him out until two extremely handsome and single New Jersey State Troopers arrive.

Was it worth all the trouble? Yes; because my heroics are verified by the highway camera on the light pole above, and I will be asked onto talk shows and given prizes.

Sorry for rambling. Sometimes I go full Wahlberg & get carried away.

Anyways, this guy stopping a suspect with a cool backward step, leaning on his cane as the cops pull up, is pretty sweet. Good on him.