Does This Look Like The Face Of A Witch Doctor That Injured Cristiano Ronaldo Before The World Cup?
(Source) A Ghanaian witch doctor has claimed he is responsible for the injury which could keep Portugal captain Cristiano Ronaldo out of the World Cup. Portugal have been drawn in Group G, the ‘Group of Death’, where they will face tough tests against Germany, the USA and finally Ghana. Ronaldo has not played since scoring in Real Madrid’s Champions League final win against Atletico Madrid on May 25 and a statement released by the Portugal FA on Wednesday confirmed that he is suffering from tendonitis in his left knee as well as a thigh strain.
The witch doctor, whose name is Nana Kwaku Bonsam which translates as ‘Devil of Wednesday’, predicted Ronaldo would be forced to miss the World Cup through injury in February. In an interview with Kumasi-based radio station Angel FM, he is reported as saying: ‘I know what Cristiano Ronaldo’s injury is about, I’m working on him. ‘I am very serious about it. Last week, I went around looking for four dogs and I got them to be used in manufacturing a special spirit called Kahwiri Kapam. ‘I said it four months ago that I will work on Cristiano Ronaldo seriously and rule him out of the World up or at least prevent him from playing against Ghana and the best thing I can do is to keep him out though injury. ‘This injury can never be cured by any medic, they can never see what is causing the injury because it is spiritual. Today, it is his knee, tomorrow it is his thigh, next day it is something else.’
You know when I first read this headline I thought, ok bro, cool story, you totally got Ronaldo with your witch doctor potions, I can play make believe too. But then I saw Nana Kwaku Bonsam’s face, and I am ready to admit that yes, he is in fact 100% a Witch Doctor.
Guy looks like an old beaten leather bag. Like an old tree. If a tree had a face, it would like exactly Nana, which I know doesn’t make sense but it sort of does. He’s like a real life version of the ticket oak. So Ronaldo, if I were you I would be legitimately afraid. Because like Nana said he’s working on you and yeah you may think it’s just a slight hamstring pull but in reality your spirit has been injured and no doctor can ever fix that. Nana Out.
How about Nana dressing like a 7th grader going to the school dance in his spare time? Witch Doctor by day, trolling Craigslist in his American Eagle shirts for BBW by night.