First Nice Night At Wrigley Means One Thing - Dump Out Those Man Boobs

I gasped when he jiggled  


This is why I’ll never understand the people in Florida or Arizona or California that brag about no winter. Yeah of course everyone wants to live in fake life 365 days a year, never dealing with snow, wind, or cold. We get that. But here’s the flip side of the long miserable winter. A couple of dudes having a man boob showdown in the Wrigley bleachers on the first warm night of the year. In Arizona it’s just another hot day living inside a microwave. In California every morning you wake up at a day on the beach. But in a cold weather city, it’s a fucking celebration. That first day is indescribable. Just knowing we’ve made it out on the other side. Probably how the Pilgrims felt every winter they survived sitting inside a tiny hut giving each other chlamydia. We made it. We fucking made it.


This was like a bizarro planet earth episode where two bucks lock horns to see who can get the first fuck of the summer.

When the first flowers bloom, and the threat of winter’s grip loosens, the adult male takes to his breeding grounds in the Wrigley Bleachers to display his mammary glands and assert dominance. 


Right Field Sucks