'Broga,' Which Combines Beer and Yoga, is Apparently a Thing

Australia - Yoga is being combined with beer in a push to boost mens’ physical and mental health.

Free ‘Broga’ classes are being held at The Hack in Port Melbourne, encouraging pint-adoring blokes to get fit in more ways than one.

Instructor Nim Rotenberg told 9NEWS a couple of frothies “may help men loosen up for poses.”

“It’ll definitely open up your hamstrings,” Mr Rotenberg told 9NEWS with a laugh.

Apart from physical benefits, broga also helps men together to chat- which is essential for good mental health. …

In Australia, one in eight men will experience depression; a staggering six out of every eight suicides every day in the country are men.

This is just further validation for my long held belief that nothing is so simple, pure and good that someone won’t come along ruining it by trying to combine it with something else.

And obviously, I’m not talking about the yoga. I’ve been witnessing yoga in some form or another my entire adult life and I just don’t get it. The Irish Rose does it in the morning before work. There are classes going on at my gym most days. I’ve seen it done at vacation resorts I’ve stayed at. And to me it looks like the opposite of exercise. Relaxing and stretching hammies is what I do on a rainy Saturday in front of Netflix. I don’t pretend it gets me in shape.

Obviously I’m talking about the Broga movements feeble attempt to ruin the otherwise perfect art of drinking beer with other men by “improving” it with yoga. Beer drinking doesn’t need the help, thanks. It’s been perfected over the millennia. Thousands of years before you added your poses and your tinkly music and your whispered “Namaste,” beer did nothing less than create civilization. It motivated otherwise nomadic people to settle down, grow crops, harvest and brew them. Can your yoga claim that?

Basically trying to replace the time-honored tradition of abusing your body in a pub with this nonsense is an abomination. An unholy mashup of one sacred thing with something horrible. The equivalent of taking perfectly good pizza and giving a cauliflower crust. Of taking the noble potato chip and making it Chinese Szechuan Chicken flavored. It’s the same kind of lunacy that tried to make bachelor parties and bridal showers coed. And it needs to be stopped before it has even the tiniest, remotest chance to catch on.

I’m all about something that stops depressed men from killing themselves. This is not it. You’re Australia for God sakes and you’re supposed know better. Leave my excessive drinking alone.