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Pros and Joes Review: RAMPAGE

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Welcome to Pros and Joes Review! This is our brand new blog where we will be discussing local government policy and its ramifications on global ecosyst..

What’s that? …mhm… but young people love this type of… oh, they don’t? Got it.

Welcome to Pros and Joes Review! This is our brand new blog where we will be reviewing new movies and television shows!

WHO ARE WE?

For anyone who might not be listening to World’s Most Subversive Podcast (thanks again J.D. Power and Associates), Pros and Joes with Frank Kaminsky, the premise is that we show both sides of the story, from the Pro (Frank) to the Joe (Alex, Dor, Dylan). We thought it would be fun to give Frank a break from his Pro designation, so we have moved into a world where he really is your Average Joe: Film and Television.

Frank “the Tank” Kaminsky:

Self-proclaimed “big movie guy,” Frank is tired of reading critics reviews from Rotten Tomatoes and is ready to throw his voice into the mix for a change of pace.

Alex “Average Alex” Flood:

Every college elective class Alex took was in film history or film analysis, so it’s working out nicely that he can use that knowledge for something other than insisting I’m wrong about my opinions on Star Wars.

Matt “Dor” Dorsett:

Dor doesn’t pretend to be knowledgeable about film, all he cares about is being entertained. Despite that, he took his opportunity to write a movie review by the haunches and sent me five full pages of critiques and thoughts.

Jack “Jacques Tulee” Tully

Yours truly. After five years of film school, where I learned all about filmmaking, screenwriting, and storytelling, I’m finally able to exercise those skills here: editing typos out of everyone else’s reviews. There will still be typos. I’m taking the mental liberty of considering myself the “Pro” here, but that’s really only by default.

WHO ARE YOU?

You’re sick and tired of critics taking movies too seriously. You don’t need every movie to be Saving Private Ryan. In fact, you don’t want every movie to be a masterpiece, you just want to be entertained. You want reviews By the People, For the People. You’re also the type of person that reads a review for the movie Rampage.

WHO IS HE?

I thought he was with you…

So if any of that appeals to you, have we got a show for you!

 SPOILER-ISH REVIEW

Frank:

Rampage is EXACTLY WHAT THE FUCK YOU THINK IT IS. This movie is awesome, plain and simple. The plot isn’t great, the characters have absolutely no development whatsoever, BUT WHO GIVES A SHIT. This is what The Rock does. He cranks out action movies that are there solely for entertainment purposes. The whole movie is filled with great action scenes and amazing CGI (done by the same team behind Dawn of the Planet of the Apes). I thoroughly enjoyed this movie because it didn’t try to be anything other than what it is. The Rock should have died about 15 times throughout the course of the movie, but he didn’t because he’s the biggest badass in the entire world. Come to think of it, I can’t recall a time when he has died in a movie. But fuck it, he’s a badass. It would be unrealistic for him to die.

I highly recommend going to see this movie, specifically seeing it in 3D.

Two Thumbs Up

Alex:

The way I determine if a movie was worth seeing is whether I think about it the next day. Did I think about Rampage the day after I saw it? Fuck, I’ve been thinking about it all week! That bothers me a little, but I have. I fucking loved this movie. To quote renowned jackass Lavar Ball, this movie “stays in its lane.” It doesn’t try to push a romance on you. It doesn’t try to overdo the complexity of the characters. In fact, it doesn’t even try to make the movie make sense at all. It was especially cool to see my hometown Chicago reduced to absolute rubble.

Two Thumbs Up

Dor:

As soon as we walked out of the theater, Jack turned to me and said, “I’ll give you a dollar if you can tell me what The Rock’s character’s name was.” We had JUST walked out of the theater, and I’ll be honest. I had no fucking clue. But that’s exactly what I wanted out of a Rock movie: To be entertained for a couple hours. To sit back and watch some badass action scenes, listen to corny, corny dialogue, and just forget about the fact that I’ve got work at 8am tomorrow. *POETIC DESCRIPTION INCOMING* It’s very similar to 10,000 B.C., where I got my first handy, in the fact that you really don’t have to pay any attention to know what’s going on. You won’t regret seeing it, but you could wait for this one to be released on DVD.

One Thumb Up

Tully:

There’re two types of laughing in the movie theater for me. There’s genuine laughter that we’ve all had when a movie really makes a great joke. But then there’s this other type of laughter that I experience. A laughter that is a result of absurd action and spectacle. Like watching The Rock ride a broken helicopter down a falling Sears Tower, somehow avoiding certain death. Or watching The Rock throw a belt of grenades like Mitchell Trubisky on 4th down, flying through the air into the gills of a monster the size of Soldier Field. It’s those moments that kinda take you out of the movie and make you look around like, “Are we really seeing this right now?” There’s something wonderful about those moments, and while they may not make for masterpieces, they do make for fun rollercoasters. I had that laugh going throughout most of the movie, so I have to think that it did its job.

One Thumb Up

FINAL SCORE:

6/8 Thumbs Up

Hope you all enjoyed our first review, there are more to come whether you like it or not. So please like, subscribe, retweet, repost, posterize, spotifyze, memorize. Let us know what you want us to review next on Twitter @BarstoolProJoes.