We Need To Talk About Uranus

Yes, that dark orb where the sun don’t shine. It’s been in the news today because… I don’t know a nice way to say it, but, it stinks. Bad. Like rotten eggs. Like a July garbage day in Chinatown. Like that dirty kid from Charlie Brown but not as bad as the Cleveland Browns.

It’s worse than Yu Darvish in a dugout.

::pats self on back for tying this in with sports through extreme stretch::

Please, stop, don’t try to deny it. A little probing with the Gemini North Telescope and research from the University of Oxford has confirmed this so just accept it. Just a big ‘ol swirling mess of hydrogen, helium and methane.

Honestly, not to pile it on you, but the only thing worse than Uranus? Urmom’s.