Advertisement

Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher

SST

SSTa

SSTb

South CarolinaA Lowcountry high school teacher and Clemson graduate who previously taught in the Upstate is accused of giving alcohol to three of her students at her home and having sexual encounters with two of them, according to a report released by the Beaufort County Sheriff’s Office.

Brittney Whetzel, 28, of Lady’s Island, is charged with two counts of sexual battery with a student and three counts of transfer of beer or wine for an underage person’s consumption.

Investigators said the sexual battery and underage drinking took place at Whetzel’s home on April 9 and 10. She was arrested at her home on Monday.

This is how Clemson gets things done.  This how you go from a very good program to a national power. How you get to back-to-back National Championship Bowls and win one. It’s April school vacation week in South Carolina. April 9th and 10th were a Monday and Tuesday. And Brittney Whetzel is spending them having students over her house, getting three of them drunk and having sex with two of them. The fact is she’s making the kind of effort that would make Dabo Swinney proud. She’s like the Deshaun Watson of Sex Scandal Teachers, playing her best when it matters most.

I don’t know what happened with that third kid. I mean, for most American high schoolers, getting free beers handed to you at your 28-year-old teacher’s home would be enough. But when not one but two of your buddies actually get laid out of the deal and you don’t, that’s a tough thing to come back from. Like being Michael Collins on Apollo 11, going all the way to the moon but not getting to actually land on it. But assuming she ever gets released from custody, she’ll have plenty of time for a make-do. God knows her time won’t be taken up with teaching high school any more.

The Grades:
Looks: I don’t know when I’ve ever seen the Jerry Glasses Theorem, that says every woman in the world looks better in glasses than without them, disproven so much as it is by Brittney. Granted it’s unfair when the glasses photo in question was taken by a police photographer. But still. In those bottom two photos she looks like a young Kirsten Dunst. In the mugshot she looks like an old Mary Katherine Gallagher. I’ll split the difference.
Grade: C+

Moral Compass/Bad Judgment: Until we know more, this wasn’t some long, romantic seduction, played out in DMs over the weeks and months. This was a school break beer fest in which she got drunk and boned her teenaged party guests. But the fact there were two of them and might even have been a 3-way counts for a lot. A whole lot.
Grade: B+

Intangibles: Putting the Low in Lowcountry. The Hey Laaadies! in Lady’s Island. And the Wet in Brittany Whetzel.
Grade: A

Overall: B-.

Do you have someone you want to see graded? Tweet her to me @jerrythornton1 or email me at jerry@barstoolsports.com. Your service to the betterment of mankind will be its own reward.