I Watched An ASMR Video Last Night And Felt Like A Pervert

I watched an ASMR video last night and felt like a reeeeaaaal pervert.

Melissa Benoist is one of my favorite actresses in the game right now. She plays Kara Zor El/Supergirl on the CW’s ‘Supergirl’ and makes that cheesy (but genuinely heartfelt) show worth watching. I binged the hell out of it on Netflix not too long ago and really had a blast catching up on the whole series, it’s just a really fun time that reminds me of the superhero cartoons I watched as a kid. Anyway, she’s on a press tour right now promoting the show coming back and she did an ASMR video with W Magazine. Being the fan of hers that I am, I watched it, and it made me so uncomfortable I wanted to crawl out of my own skin.

If you’re unsure of what ASMR is, allow me to attempt an explanation for you here. Some people, a lot of people apparently, are “triggered” by certain sounds and noises into getting “the tingles”. “The tingles” are like chills, but inside your brain/on your scalp. These people actually call it “the tingles”. Some of these triggering sounds include tapping on tables, crumpling up paper, pouring water into cups, and most importantly: whispering. The folk susceptible to ASMR LOVE it when people whisper. I think ideally they’d watch every one of these videos with headphones on, as the stereo sound makes it seem like whoever is talking it whispering in their ears, one at a time, but that could be wrong. I don’t feel “the tingles”. I want to, I really do, I even watched Aubrey Plaza’s THIRTY-SIX minute ASMR video desperately trying to feel something, but unfortunately…I just feel like a pervert!

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Now I’d like to get something straight – I’m not knocking ASMR. If you’re someone who likes these kinds of videos, good for you. They’re clearly a goldmine for views, so the audience is there (maybe Barstool ASMR is our next franchise?), but I definitely think it’s a sexual fetish of some sort despite ASMR-ers being ADAMANT that it isn’t. You can’t tell me all of these incredibly attractive women roleplaying as nurses, hairdressers, and maids while softly speaking to you until you get “the tingles” and fall asleep isn’t.

That being said, all the power to ya if this is your thing. Let’s just call a spade a spade here, though. This is a bit of a weird fetish and I’d rather my mom walk in on me watching one of Asa’s double penetration videos than be caught with the fucking tingles from a whispering YouTuber.