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Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher

SST

SSTa

UKA married deputy headteacher and a science teacher have been suspended after a student saw them having sex on a desk.

It is claimed Judith Ramsdale, 44, and head of chemistry Paul Bland, 42, had sex while students were on a revision day.

The pupil is alleged to have caught the teachers – who are both married – in the act after being asked to retrieve material from the school’s English department, according to Sun Online.

The teachers are reported to have been suspended while an investigation gets underway at Haslingden School in Rossendale, Lancashire.

A source said: ‘A pupil saw them and ran back to the class to tell his teacher, who initially didn’t believe him.

‘But there are rumours of it being caught on CCTV. It’s the talk of every school in the area.’

Mr Bland, who lives with his wife Rebecca, 42, and his three children in Bury, confirmed that he had been suspended.

How’s this for a twist on an old classic? Teachers having sex in their classroom with other teachers. I guess if you live long enough you get to see everything eventually. It’s amazing no teachers have ever thought of this before. They get so caught up in deciding which of their students they want to cull from the herd to satisfy their midlife sexual urges that it’s like they forget there are other, equally horny teachers all around them.

It seems like such a simple solution. Sure, boning another teacher on your desk is bad for your career. And in most cases it’s not doing your marriage any favors. But at least it’s not illegal. You’ll never get near a classroom job again and the words “Wednesday evenings and every other weekend” will suddenly have meaning in your life. But there’s no jail time involved. So well done, Judith Ramsdale. You managed to control your urges. Not all the way, but somewhat. If only you’d controlled the lock on your classroom door, you’d be getting laid by Paul Bland on your desk all the way to retirement. Instead, you’ve broken new Sex Scandal Teacher ground:

The Grades:
Looks: I’m taking nothing away from Mr. Bland’s wife Rebecca, who’s kind of cute. But how could he resist that powerful MILF vibe Judith gives off? She’s kind of working that Claire Dunphy thing and working it hard. The Pilates body with the cuffed jeans and little Nikes. It’s hard to believe she’s older than him. But her looks explain why he ordered the aged prime rib and stayed away from the veal.
Grade: B+

Moral Compass/Bad Judgment: This is pretty straightforward. They banged on the desk when they thought they were alone. We don’t have some long narrative about Mrs. Ramsdale exchanging numbers with some kid and sending him dirty texts over the months before giving him car head behind a Piggly Wiggly at Homecoming or anything. Two teachers. Desk. Intercourse. And one kid who needs to learn that what happens behind closed doors on revision day should stay behind closed doors. Bland should’ve pulled a Jamie Lannister and tossed the kid out the window.
Grade: B

Intangibles: God, there’s just so many puns it could be an Austin Powers bit. Well, I guess she really is the headteacher. It looks as though his life was anything but bland. He put the ram in Ramsdale. If he wasn’t in Bury before he’s certainly buried now. [Elizabeth Hurley stares at him disapprovingly.] Right, I’ll stop.
Grade: A

Overall: B+. A very solid if non-traditional SST from the UK.

Do you have someone you want to see graded? Tweet her to me @jerrythornton1 or email me at jerry@barstoolsports.com. Your service to the betterment of mankind will be its own reward.