The Playoffs Are Finally Here!


Not only are Saturdays For The Boys, but they’re now for doing nothing but watching 7+ straight hours of basketball where finally the players are actually going to try. Boy are we blessed. We made it through the grueling 82 game schedule, the internet has done their best to provide only the hottest takes as to what’s going to happen, and as I type this I sit here giddy with excitement like it’s the first day of Hanukkah. We have 4 games today, two from each conference and you have to hand it to the NBA for how they schedules these games. They sure know where their bread is buttered. For those who don’t know, here’s today’s lineup

San Antonio Spurs vs Golden State Warriors 3pm EST (ABC)

We know Curry is out, well news broke this morning that Kawhi will once again be out as well. The Warriors are favored at -8 with the O/U at 206. Now I won’t tell you how to spend your money, but just know that of the four meetings between these two, 2 of them went over that number. The final meeting probably would have as well if the Warriors weren’t missing their entire team.

As a reminder GS won the season series 3-1 and the Spurs are a beyond pathetic 14-27 on the road. I don’t think many people expect much from SA in this game/series, which is exactly how Popovich likes it. If I had to guess, we’re going to see a lot of Kyle Anderson at the 4 and LMA at the 5 as the Spurs have a 111.9 ORtg / 102.0 Drtg when that happens. Sadly though I’m smelling blowout.

Washington Wizards vs Toronto Raptors 5:30pm EST (ESPN)

Just like GS, the Raptors are -8 favorites as they open this series at home where they were a ridiculous 34-7. The O/U here is 211 which feels crazy high to me. These two teams only went over that number once during the regular season, and obviously things may be different now that Wall is back but this team really hasn’t faced a good defense during that stretch outside of the Celtics. This smells like an under.

The key here is we’ll finally get to see if the TOR bench is for real. They’ve been great all season, but have just a +2.3 net rating since the All Star Break. Pre break? It was +31.1 rating. This game should be great because if WSH wins Game 1, the entire city of Toronto is going to freak the hell out.

Philadelphia 76ers vs Miami Heat 8pm EST (ESPN)

It’s no surprise the NBA put the Sixers in prime time. They are the hottest team in the league and are the talk of the internet. Joel Embiid has already been ruled out which kinda sucks, but how could you not be excited about this matchup. The Sixers are -6.5 favorites which feels right and the O/U is 216. I’m staying the hell away from that number mostly because this is the first playoff game for PHI and they’re comprised of young players facing a good defense, and also because I don’t think MIA has the offensive talent to be able to score that much. I see this game being played in the 90s.

On one side we have Sixers twitter who are ready to cum all over the place if they win Game 1, and on the other side we have the rest of the internet stocking up on mocking GIFs if they lose. If you’re a Sixers fan, try not to worry so much that you don’t have Embiid. The Simmons/JJ/Convington/Saric/Johnson  lineup has been really good without Embiid for a couple months now, and as long as they make sure to take care of the glass in this game against two beastly rebounders in Whiteside/Adebayo, things should still come up Philly.

New Orleans Pelicans vs Portland Trail Blazers 10:30pm EST (ESPN)

My advice to you would be do not go to sleep. You’re going to want to watch this matchup. It has everything you could want, star players, awesome offenses, teams on a roll, and an great home court environment. This game also includes our closest line with POR being favored by -5.5. The O/U is set at 217.5, and I’m going to go ahead and smash that over. I think this is going to be a 110+ game from both sides. I fully expect Anthony Davis to have a monster night, and the same can be said for both of POR’s guards. During the year 2 of the 4 matchups went over that number, and plus you also have to factor in that wacky shit usually goes down during late night West Coast NBA games.

This is going to be a battle between one team that has one of the best clutch performers in the league this year in Lillard against a team that since Boogie went down is 1st in pace, 17th in Ortg, 5th in Drtg, and 7th in overall net rating. Whatever you do, do not fall asleep.

So happy NBA Playoffs Day everybody, may your day be filled with good beer, great good, great friends, and even better basketball. Let’s fucking GO.