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So Uhhhhh.... The Flyers

Philadelphia Flyers v Pittsburgh Penguins - Game One

Listen. I don’t even have any words for that catastrophe of a hockey “game”. The only reason I’m writing this blog right now is just for you guys to get your shots in the comment section. If I’m going to die, at least let me die with integrity.

Brian Elliott should be so embarrassed with his piss poor effort between the pipes tonight that he never laces up another pair of skates ever again. Dave Hakstol needs to get his ass kicked for keeping Elliott in to start the 2nd period. If I’m Claude Giroux, I pack up Hakstol’s shit right now and send him on a plane back home. Take over as player/coach and have the boys skate suicides until everybody pukes up the last remaining bits of this game. From top to bottom, this game was horrific. All everybody has been saying leading up to this matchup is that the Flyers need to stay the fuck out of the penalty box. What do they do? Take penalty after penalty after penalty. These assholes were so damn miserable in their own zone. They couldn’t clear the puck for shit. Their powerplay gave up more shots than they got on net. It was the largest pile of dogshit the world has ever seen.

The only saving grace? Hopefully the Penguins were dumb enough to waste all of their goals in game 1 of the series. I swear to god I didn’t actually think the Flyers were winning this game tonight. Was I thinking they’d get a touchdown hung on them? Not really. I was thinking maybe a 4-2 loss with that 4th being an empty netter. But for the fifth straight game, the Penguins have put up 5+ goals against the Flyers and then some. I’m a firm believer that you only have so many goals in the tank for a playoff series. The Penguins tank might be running on fumes come games 5 and 6.

But yeah. I want to sleep on the train tracks tonight. Fuck.

P.S. – Crosby is a filth ball.

@BarstoolJordie