Patrick Reed Is Having A Really Big Week

Wow what a week for Patrick. Wins the Masters and ejaculates into a vagina, per this newspaper. Exciting stuff.

You really have to look at these two and ask yourself — how often do they fuck?

Her outfit would tell you never. Ever. Under any circumstances. Her outfit would tell you she’s more likely to bang a Walmart greeter than her husband but looks can be deceiving. Don’t judge a psycho wife by her watermelon Masters outfit, the old adage goes.

But science says differently. They have two children, and according to science, children are created by a man thrusting his penis inside of the pink part of a woman and voila. Patrick and Justine are married. The point I’m making here is we have no choice but to assume they had sex.

And so we’re right back to where we started.

When you finish in the pink…

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Congratulations to Patrick Reed on winning the Masters and ejaculating into a vagina in the same week. Awesome stuff. USA all the way baby.