If You Can't Be There, What's The Best Way To Experience Masters Weekend?

As I’ve mentioned before, going to the Masters is #1 on my bucket list. Nothing else even comes close.  But for the sake of this blog, let’s just pretend that being on the ground at Augusta National this weekend isn’t an option. Because for most of us, it’s not. In fact, it may be the least attainable thing to do in sports.

Of course, watching it on Thursday and Friday is different because people have to be at work. Productivity has to be at an all-time low across the board.

Current views from HQ:

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But for weekend viewing, it starts with the age-old question. Do you watch your favorite sporting events alone in peace and quiet or do you make it a social event?

I personally prefer small house parties. But — and this is VERY important — you have to be incredibly selective with who you surround yourself with when watching golf tournaments, especially The Masters. You can’t have some annoying asshole talking over Jim Nantz and Verne Lundquist all day. Like the sport itself, there is strict etiquette.


When I lived in Texas, (weather permitting) we would drag all of the TVs out of the bedrooms, position them around the pool and watch coverage all day while floating on inflatable animals. We’d also put the kegs/coolers on the edge of the pool so we had to put out minimal effort to get a refill. It was glorious.

But since it still snows in April up here, I no longer have that option. So here’s how I plan to spend the the weekend and you should too:

Set up a Bloody Mary or mimosa bar to kick-start the day. Make sure the beers are iced in a cooler that keeps things really cold (preferably a YETI, but no free ads). Make sure said cooler is always within reach. Have a solid food plan so you don’t have to move. Only agree to be somewhere that the person-to-seat ratio is favorable and stake your claim early. Create your own Masters betting game and don’t forget cash. Wear yoga pants (comfort is key). Root for Tiger to be in contention on Sunday.

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This is not only one of the best events of the year, it’s an awesome excuse to sit on a couch with your good time buddies, watch golf for hours on end and barely move until you see somebody wearing a green jacket.

It’s more than OK to be a lazy piece of shit this weekend. You deserve it.

(2019 edit: and then we have GOT. What a fucking weekend.)