The "Not Dany Heatley" Twitter Parody Account Probably Regrets This One....

Yeah brah, when I rolled around with a fifth of Bacardi and then crashed my car and killed my best friend and the team played in his honor hence the Number 37 on the boards there. Whoops! It’s like a parody of an idiot, only you’re the actual dumb one.

h/t pantherpucks