Father's Day Collection | T-Shirts, Hats, Polos, Crewnecks, Q-Zips and MoreSHOP NOW

Advertisement

I Do Not Understand How 36% Of People Would Rather Spend 10 Hours On A Bus (A Freaking BUS) Than A Plane

Folks, I am appalled. I am appalled on the internet. Who in the world makes up this 36% of people who would ever want to get on a bus, nevermind a bus for 10 hours straight??? We need to lock those people up and throw away the key, minimum. Perhaps bring them to Area 51 and have their brains studied and compared to those of aliens and/or cavemen. I don’t want to be on a bus for 1 straight hour, nevermind 10 of them. You ever taken a bus? Even the “nice” buses are awful. The people on them are awful. There’s always the smelly homeless guy wearing 10 coats even though it’s the middle of summer, the sassy woman yelling into her bluetooth, and the heat is blasting the entire time without anything you can do about it. And those are the nice trips. Oh, and someone brought a tupperware of smelly curry chicken, 100% of the time.

Advertisement

Even bad plane rides are better than the best bus ride. There’s no potholes in the sky. There’s no traffic in the sky. It’s just you, a metal tube, and 300 MPH zipping through the sky. Friendly flight attendants serving you booze and your choice of assorted snacks. Actually, on a 10 hour flight you probably have a full meal option as well. I’ve only had a meal twice on an airplane, and I quite liked it both times. And maybe you’re sitting in Business or First Class and can recline your seat all the way down and take a tiger snooze for the duration of the flight, and then wake up to some champagne and cake. Delightful! Not to mention you have a freaking TV screen with an insane amount of movies right in front of you, as well as live TV on many planes.

You can’t get any of that on a bus. On a bus you end up standing on the side of the road in New Jersey because the engine blew out again and you have to wait 3 hours for a new bus to pick you up.

Plus here’s the kicker- on a 10 hour bus ride, you can go from DC to Boston. Hooray! On a 10 hour plane ride, you can land in god damn Switzerland. Prague. To Jamaica and back again, just for the fun of it. So if you’re going to voluntarily choose to spend 10 hours on either, at least choose to go somewhere. Who the fuck wants to sit on a bus to not be able to get out of a timezone? Buhanananana land.

If there is any reasonable explanation for choosing bus, I’m open to hearing it, but I already know you’re wrong. Even people who claim “but I’m scared of flying”- you’re still wrong. Everyone is somewhat scared of flying (Thanks, Bin Laden), but you just take some Xanax and have some termies and get on with it. So to that 36%, god bless ya, but please, pleaseeee re-evaluate your life. Woof.