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The Philadelphia Flyers Are The Most Courteous Team In The League For Constantly Letting Struggling Teams Beat Them

When most people think of Philly sports, they think we’re these half-human monsters who are constantly on the prowl to make others’ lives miserable. They think about throwing snowballs at Santa Claus. They think of the “debacle” when Vikings fans weren’t treated like they were our grandmothers. They think of the Broad Street Bullies and this and that and everything. When the reality of the situation couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s a horrible stereotype that is simply untrue. And here is why.

Just in this year alone, the Philadelphia Flyers have allowed the Arizona Coyotes to snap their 11-game losing streak, the Detroit Red Wings’ 10-game losing streak, and last night they allowed the Dallas Stars to snap their 8-game losing streak. That doesn’t even mention the countless amounts of players so far this year who have broken their scoring droughts against the Flyers. If you’re a team with a few guys on their roster who haven’t scored in 30 or so games, all you have to do is schedule a game against the Flyers and they’ll probably score a hat trick. If you’re a team who hasn’t won a game in a month or so, just schedule a game against the Flyers and you’ll get those 2 points you’ve been looking for. Got a new goalie making his first start in the NHL? Guess what? Play him against the Flyers and he’ll have a shutout.

To put it simply, the Flyers are the most selfless team in the National Hockey League. They are constantly looking out for all the other teams in the league. They say the name on the front of the jersey means a helluva lot more than the one on the back. Well for the Flyers? They don’t even give a heck about the logo on the front. That’s how unselfish they are. They put the league in front of themselves. They’re the hockey version of Mother Theresa.

So don’t give me this shit about Philly sports and Philly fans being classless assholes. If it weren’t for us, none of you bozos would ever score a goal or win a game ever again. So what if it hurts our own chances of getting into the playoffs cleanly. That’s not what we’re all about. We just want to make sure that everybody else is having as much fun as possible before we worry about ourselves. Maybe the rest of you should try it some time.

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Just 5 games left. Colorado tonight. Bruins on Sunday afternoon. Islanders next Tuesday. Carolina on Thursday and then close out the season with the Rangers next Saturday. Devils and Panthers are both red hot, and Florida somehow has 3 games in hand. Please, for the love of god, just hold on to this thing.

@BarstoolJordie