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Where I Come From, You'd Get Your Ass Kicked For Ordering This $120 Cheesesteak

CNBC – The menu at Barclay Prime in Philadelphia boasts luxurious ingredients you would expect of a high-end steakhouse: wagyu ribeye, foie gras and truffled cheese.

What you might not expect is that those ingredients are used in the restaurant’s Philly cheesesteak. The Barclay Prime Cheesesteak sells for $120 and is the most expensive in America, according to a new episode of CNBC’s “Secret Lives of the Super Rich.”

Alright so here’s the deal. I like to keep it real with you guys. I’m not in this business to get up here on the internet and lie about who or what I am. So the god’s honest truth is that I’m really not that big of a cheesesteak guy. Don’t get me wrong–I think they’re delicious and everything. But I’m not a guy who has a “favorite spot”. I’m not a guy who is going to argue with somebody over who has the best cheesesteaks in Philly. If I had my choice, I probably just go with something classic like Jim’s or something convenient for me like Jimmy G’s. I understand that may make me “less” of a Philadelphian, but as a potentially professional athlete, I just gotta be careful about what I put in my body so cheesesteaks are usually a rarity.

Now with all of that being said… I still have to draw the line at a $120 cheesesteak. I understand this sandwich isn’t new or anything but since CNBC recently wrote about it, I just figured I’d pass along the sentiment. I don’t care what kind of meat you use. What kind of cheese you use. What kind of truffle butter you use. If you’re looking to to grub down on a cheesesteak and you spend anything more than $10-15, you’re a fucking asshole. Plain and simple.

Obviously I’m coming at this sandwich from the perspective of a poor person. I speak for the majority of us who are as afraid to look at their bank accounts after the weekend as people in the 80s were to look at their STD test results. But even if I wasn’t a poor bitch, a cheesesteak isn’t supposed to be this fancy sort of meal. It’s not supposed to be high end. Hell, it’s hardly supposed to be “edible” according to most standards. I want some extra greasy meat slathered in some extra gooey cheese with some onions thrown into the mix and then I want to be able to eat my body weight in cherry peppers while I wait for it to be made. Truffle butter? Fuck you. Foie gras mousse? Go straight to hell with that nonsense.

I want my cheesesteaks to take a few years off of my life. Not a few zeroes off of my bank account. But if for any reason Barclay Prime would like to have me in to give this thing a try for free… well I guess I’d give it a shot. For research purposes. I am a journalist, after all.