Apparently it's a Seller's Market for American Sperm in Brazil
WSJ – With “jewel-tone eyes,” blond hair and a “smattering of light freckles,” Othello looks nothing like most Brazilians, the majority of whom are black or mixed-race. Yet the “Caucasian” American cashier, described in those terms by the Seattle Sperm Bank and known as Donor 9601, is one of the sperm providers most often requested by wealthy Brazilian women importing the DNA of young U.S. men at unprecedented rates.
Over the past seven years, human semen imports from the U.S. to Brazil have surged some 3,000% as more rich single women and lesbian couples select donors whose online profiles suggest they will yield light-complexioned and preferably blue-eyed children.
Everyone wants a “pretty kid” and for many parents in Brazil, where prejudice often runs deep, that means “the white biotype—light-colored eyes and skin,” said Susy Pommer, a 28-year-old data analyst from São Paulo who decided to get pregnant last year after a breast-cancer scare left her eager to raise a child right away with her partner, Priscilla.
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The preference for white donors reflects the persistent racism in a country where social class and skin color correlate with glaring accuracy. More than 50% of Brazilians are black or mixed-race, a legacy of Brazil having imported more than 10 times as many African slaves than the U.S.; it was the last Western country to ban slavery, in 1888. … In such a racially divided society, having fair-skinned offspring is often viewed as a way to provide a child with better prospects, from a higher salary to fairer treatment by the police.
My first takeaway is that it turns out Brazil is super racist. I mean, I’m from Boston which is supposed to be the most racist town in the most racist country since Apartheid collapsed under the pressure from all those bumper stickers and posters in the background of scenes from the Lethal Weapon franchise. And as far as I know, there’s no huge demand here for Aryan jizz from women looking to have a master race of babies. But what do I know? There could be a whole premium market of Nordic DNA at some sperm boutiques in the high rent district like Newbury Street or Copley Square, places I rarely ever visit. Still, this business of Brazilian society being totally stratified based on skin tone and eye color is news to me. Somehow NBC left that out when they were doing all those background stories during the Rio Olympics about the amazing diversity of that thriving and vibrant culture as Bob Costas battled Pinkeye.
Second, and more importantly, there is a demand for American baby batter down there? This presents so many business opportunities for the American working man I don’t even know where to begin. Trump keeps talking about our trade deficit with places like China, and this could do wonders to close that gap. We’ve got literally millions of men willing to whip up a batch for nothing that we could literally make spunk our leading export. Demand has gone up 3000% in just seven years, there’s no reason to think it couldn’t go up even more in the next seven. We’ve got the man power. And so much of the stuff is being lost into Kleenex and socks right now. If we harvested even a fraction of that, we could be shipping hundreds of thousands of barrels to the ports in San Paolo every day. Why, a Fappening 3.0 alone could wipe out our national debt.
By way of full disclosure, I can’t help the cause. I got fixed after our second child. So the chance of me doing my part for my country by producing lucrative Brazilian babies with soulful blue eyes, adorable upturned noses and full heads of lustrous hair are nil. Which probably isn’t the worst thing, since that sun would be killer on our Irish skin. The Thorntons tend to be sort of translucent, and we have to lay in the sun for a couple of weeks just to get to white. But if I could, I’d be selling my liquid white gold by the gallon. For America.