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Ilya Kovalchuk Says He's 100% Coming Back To The NHL Next Season. I'm Saying He's 100% A Russian Spy

Kontinental Hockey League Play-Off Semifinals: SKA St Petersburg vs Lokomotiv Yaroslavl

Every year since Kovalchuk left to go back to the KHL, there have been rumors about him returning. Obviously the situation is a little different heading into this summer since Kovy can come back to the NHL as an unrestricted free agent. Every year in the past, his rights have still been owned by the Devils so in order for him to come back, he’d need to get the approval of the rest of the teams in the league and, unless he wanted to return to New Jersey, the Devils would need to figure out a trade that works. So yeah, there were a ton of obstacles in the way of keeping Kovalchuk from coming back to North America. That’s not the case this year as he can just come back and sign with whatever team he wants to.

With that being said… the timing here is just all too suspicious. Nobody in the world is a bigger puppet for Putin than Ilya Kovalchuk. He was the leader of the “Olympic Athletes From Russia” team that won gold at Pyeongchang in Putin’s reelection year. And the team that he plays for in Russia, SKA, is essentially the Red Army. I wrote about this before but Putin has rigged the league this year to make sure that SKA wins the championship because his team winning is better for him in reelection. Pretty much everything Ilya Kovalchuk does on the ice is for Vladimir Putin. Do you really think that’s going to change when he comes here to play in the NHL again? Shit no.


Now I’m not exactly sure how deep this conspiracy goes or what the end goal is. Do I think that Vladimir Putin is going to use Kovalchuk in the NHL to spark his quest for world domination? I’m not so sure. But I do think the fact that Kovalchuk wants the Stanley Cup is pretty telling. Why is that, you ask? Well because you have to remember what happens when a team wins the Stanley Cup. Every player on that team gets a day with the cup to do whatever he wants with it. Most guys choose to bring it back to their hometown or some shit like that. So imagine if Ilya Kovalchuk wins the Stanley Cup. The first thing he’ll do is bring it to Putin’s house and then we’ll never see the Stanley Cup ever again. Just like that, it belongs to Putin now. First it’s the Stanley Cup, next it’s the White House. Where will this end? Nobody knows. All I know is that we should end it now before it even starts. We cannot allow Ilya Kovalchuk to come back to the NHL because there’s not a doubt in my mind that he won’t be acting as a spy for Putin. Unless we somehow get to him first and flip him into a double agent.

Imagine Kovalchuk rocking #007 for the Vegas Golden Knights next year. 10 out of 10 would buy that jersey.