Father's Day Collection | T-Shirts, Hats, Polos, Crewnecks, Q-Zips and MoreSHOP NOW

Advertisement

Everything Continues To Come Up Philly As Louis The Gorilla Walks Upright Like A Boss

The music in that video is kind of weak as hell. Let me hit this bitch with a remix real quick.

Advertisement

Okay that’s more like it. Louis the gorilla. Just struttin’ that shit like he’s the king of the jungle. And you want to know why? Because he is. Louis is still riding that wave everybody here in Philly has been on since winning the Super Bowl last month. The Eagles are world champs. The Sixers are about to smash the over on their season win total. They’re gonna get LeBron this summer. The Flyers are a playoff team. The Phillies are on the rise. Amazon is coming to the city. And I guess that brings us full circle back to the jungle as we’ve got Louis the gorilla putting on a walking clinic for the ages.

Now I’m sure there are some people out there who may be a little worried about this video. Especially those of you who have seen Planet of the Apes. If you haven’t seen Planet of the Apes before, I highly suggest you change that right away. Especially the newer series. They are excellent films which are produced by one of the finest companies in the entertainment business. You won’t be disappointed. But yeah, if you’ve seen Planet of the Apes before then maybe you’re just a tad worried about the fact that Louis is looking a little too human out there. It’s cute and innocent now but not so much when he has a bazooka on his shoulders ready to wipeout an entire species of mankind. But I can assure you that Louis is chill. He just doesn’t want to get his snacks dirty by walking on his hands and dragging them through the dirt. I can’t hate on that one bit. The 5-second rule can only do so much. Buddy just wants to be able to grub without biting down on a mouthful of mud every time. He’s not looking to take over the world.

I’m also a huge fan of his speed. There is quite literally nothing worse than getting caught behind a slow walker. When it comes to population control, I 100% believe that slow walkers should be the first group of people to go. But Louis? He’s got some purpose to his strides. He’d be perfectly fine walking down Walnut without holding anybody up. I already like Louis more than I like 95% of the population in this city.

P.S. – Louis > Harambe. Sorry but facts are facts. Louis has the clutch gene.

@BarstoolJordie