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Young Stud Gets Twerked Into Bolivian By Two Ladies While He's Napping

Poor fella. Just minding his own business whilst napping on a boat during Spring Break. He was probably tired. Lots of people are assuming that booze was involved here. Not me. I know that our pal was just catching a little SE (shut-eye) before heading out for another swim. Reading makes you sleepy. What was he reading? Probably Hemmingway’s classic The Old Man and the Sea, which is a short novel written in 1951 in Cuba, and published in 1952. Some call it simply a novelette, but that discussion is for another time. Old Man and the Sea tells the story of Santiago, an aging Cuban fisherman who struggles with a giant marlin far out in the Gulf Stream off the coast of Cuba. I bet our prince read that book while looking over the port side and could place himself in Santiago’s weather-worn shoes. Sure, the vessels were vastly different but the power of the waves are the same. You can feel the ocean’s might just as well in a large yacht as you can in the tiniest of skiffs.

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All the while, these ghastly ladies decided to take advantage of young Derek (that mother fucker looks like a Derek) by twerking their breasts, coochies, and assholes right in his face/groin. Very unfair.

The truth of the matter is that Derek is going to be so sad when he sees this video. He’s going to be upset that he missed his dream boating experience. He missed his own personal marlin. He went back to shore without his prized fish. He’s going to arrive back at shore insanely upset, like Santiago was, and then he’s going to absolutely murder his penis sans lotion. Incredible. I love literature.