We May Never See a More Talented Mascot Than The UMBC Retriever "True Grit"

I’ve been watching college basketball for many years now and I don’t think I’ve come across a mascot who dominates the game in all aspects like the UMBC Retriever. First of all, any mascot that is a retriever automatically shoots up the draft board because who doesn’t love dogs, especially retrievers. Next, the UMBC Retriever’s name is True Grit. I mean it just doesn’t get more perfect than that folks. If there was ever going to be a 16 seed to not only beat the overall 1 seed, but pretty much annihilate them it was going to start with a mascot named True Grit. Just a bunch of dudes who play Fortnite together and then wake up, bring their lunch pale to the gym, and give you 40 minutes of hell. But the UMBC Retriever doesn’t just mail it in right there. Nope. This bad boy can jam on the drums.

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Can’t think of many mascots who can play the drums like that. My fucking mascot at school was an Orange. He’s a goddamn fruit. The best thing Otto the Orange can do is stand in the middle of the court and spin around his head.

Goddamit Otto.

Well, the UMBC Retriever does not stop at being the next Dave Grohl either. This guy demolishes mascots in dance contests. I’m not sure what the K State mascot, Willie the Wildcat, knew what blood bath he was strolling into last night, but it was ugly.

It’s already a tough look to when you come out just wearing a head piece. It’s March Madness bud, you’ve got to wear a full costume. I know Kansas State prevailed in the actual game, but this debacle may have the tourney committee thinking about telling K State thanks, but no thanks. The UMBC Retriever True Grit is everything that’s right with March Madness. Will we ever hear from them again in March? Who knows, but this weekend with all the craziness going on in the tournament, the biggest gift we received was True Grit.