#BudLightBusters Just Got Realer Than Real After Zah Put A Curse On Me

So later tonight my University of Maryland, Baltimore County Retrievers will be squaring off against Zah’s Kansas State Wildcats in the most anticipated #BudLightBusters matchup ever of all time. Winner gets their ticket punched immediately to Vegas for #DP41, the stakes have legitimately never been higher. So being the competitor that I am, I start off the afternoon with some light trash talk.

Now I’ll be the first to admit, that’s a heavy opening shot. A more intimidating montage of retriever puppies doesn’t exist on the world wide web, I can assure you of such. Somehow, per the fate of the cosmos, Zah had tweeted out this at roughly the exact same time as I sent my trash talk.

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Zah was just happy to be in the mix. Pumped at a chance to be ripping it up at Wet Republic with his pal Dave (Portnoy). Dreams being lived out in reality right before everyone’s eyes. The Barstool difference. He was in a chipper mood until he checked his mentions and saw this rather clear declaration of war by me. And that’s when shit went awry for yours truly.

I love Zah, I was the first person to say that he’d have a job here when he called into Barstool Radio for the first time. But all of that goes out the window once African curses start getting thrown around. Google translate didn’t even have a clue as to what that hex says, and don’t even get me started on what Bing had to say about this whole ordeal. The last guy Zah put a curse on immediately had his hut struck by lightning. It’s a sunny day here in Astoria and still I’m covering the top of my apartment building with those crushed up rubber pellets they use to line turf fields just to play it safe.

Tonight’s matchup isn’t just about who gets to advance to the Sweet 16. It isn’t about who gets to go to Vegas. No, it’s the most life or death game that’s arguably ever been played that didn’t involve the Colombian national soccer team while Escobar was running things.