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Gina's Resume Skills: Proficient in Excel, Works Well Under Pressure, And Great At...Deepthroating?

It’s tough to get a job out there these days. There have never been more college graduates going after the same positions. Yes we are in a good economy right now where jobs are booming, but you still need to put yourself ahead of the pack. You need to stand out and differentiate yourself from a class of graduates who have never been smarter, harder working, and more technologically advanced. Everyone is “proficient in Excel” and “works well in high pressure situations”. Everyone has the same buzzwords, same bullshit charity work, same song and dance about wanting to join the team to help it meet and surpass it’s goals.

So what do you do? You put in the real shit that gets you hired. That’s what Gina did, at least. She knows SQL, HTML, Adobe Photos, and can deep throat your dick from here to Timbuktu. Not everyone can claim that. I know I can’t. Sometimes I throw up when I’m brushing my teeth and the toothbrush goes too far back on my tongue. I’d be a terrible girlfriend. But that’s neither here nor there. Ol’ Buzzkill McGee acting like the last part of skills shouldn’t be there. It’s there if you’d like, otherwise just ignore it. Doesn’t seem too egregious. One thing is for sure- Gina stood out. The kind folks in HR won’t soon forget her. And in this competitive climate, that’s all you can really ask.