Steven Adams Describing His Injury To Reporters, "Just the Australopithecus Afarensis. One of those ones."

“I feel good mate. Just the Australopithecus afarensis. One of those ones,” he said.

“Nah, you search it up. Australopithecus afarensis, that’s what it is.”

Just your casual case of Australopithecus Afarensis. You hate to see it happen to such an important player for a team as we enter the home stretch of the season. So what exactly is Australopithecus Afarensis?

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It’s a latin for a primate. Alrighty then. Well, in actuality Adams hurt his hip, but describing it as “Australopithecus Afarensis” sounds so much better, even if it’s not remotely near what it really is. Like when Ron Burgundy is caught lifting weights by Veronica Corningstone and just makes up muscles in his arm.


To be honest, I believed and trusted Steven with his medical diagnosis. Reporters all nodding their heads being like “oh that, thank God it’s nothing serious.” There had to have been one reporter trying to meet his deadline and get a real story going who was livid with Adams fucking around here. I’m here for that person’s frustration and Steven Adams’ New Zealand accent.