Moose Are Out To Kill This Family By Intentionally Getting Hit By Their Cars Causing Them To Crash
Complex- Last Friday afternoon, a 51-year-old woman named Connie Everitt hit a moose with her car while she was driving in British Columbia, Canada. She described seeing a “brown blur” run in front of her car near the 70 Mile House in B.C. just before she slammed on her brakes and collided with the moose. And while this wouldn’t normally make the news, it’s particularly noteworthy because of where the woman was headed at the time of the crash. You see, about a month ago, Everitt’s 49-year-old sister Yvonne Studley was badly injured after she got into a car accident. And guess what caused the accident? You guessed it—a moose! So within the span of about 30 days, moose have wreaked havoc on the sisters. It’s almost like they’re out to get them. “My first thought was, ‘Are the moose going out [on a] hunting season for my family?'” Everitt wondered after her accident. “You can never tell when a moose or some other wildlife will run out in front of you. My sister almost died from this. If I’d had anyone as my passenger, they would have died.”
Look at this. We can’t even go two days without a story where moose are attacking and/or trying to snuff out the life of a human being. On Monday we had a moose trying to bludgeon a couple of innocent snowmobilers to death. And now today it turns out moose are targeting this family by throwing their bodies in front of their vehicles causing them to crash and go to the hospital. Now, you’re probably saying that this is all just one big coincidence. That this woman just happened to hit a moose on her way to visit her sister who got injured by also hitting a moose. Well like Commissioner Gordon tells Robin in The Dark Knight Rises* after he becomes a detective, he’s not allowed to believe in coincidences anymore. Same rule applies to being a blogger. Normal people may be able to brush this off as nothing more than happenstance, but not me. When I see two people from the same family get hurt within 30 days of each other by the same animal, I start to smell a conspiracy. And when the animal in question is a moose, then I know something’s up. Look at that quote from the woman. She’s terrified and should be. Moose are cold blooded killers.
* I recently got HBO back and they won’t stop showing The Dark Knight Rises. That’s why I referenced it. It’s seeping into my brain. It pretty much runs on a loop. Day and night there’s Bane breaking Batman’s back in a sewer. And as a guy who’s excited about having HBO back, I watch it every time. It’s not even the best Batman movie and talking funny. It would make more sense if I couldn’t stop watching The Dark Knight. Heath Ledger should and would keep me coming back. But I can’t help myself with The Dark Knight Rises. Its gotten to the point where I’m starting to think Anne Hathaway is super hot. Normally I don’t think she’s that great but in that Cat Woman outfit? Forget about it. Crazy hot.