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We're Only One Day Into The Minnesota State High School Hockey Tournament And We Already Have Some Leaders In The All Hair Team Clubhouse

In case you forgot, the greatest high school hockey tournament in the world got underway yesterday at the Xcel Energy Center in St. Paul, Minnesota. The Tourney has become can’t miss entertainment for hockey fans for a couple of reasons. Number 1 being that these kids can wheel out there. Sure it may just be high school hockey but the talent level at this tournament is ridiculous. The second reason, of course, is for the hair. The All Hockey Hair Team has become one of the hottest videos on the interwebs for a few years now and every year in the beginning of March, we are witness to some heads of lettuce that even Whole Foods would have to be jelly about.

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Look at these beauties. The fact that you have to wear a helmet in hockey just doesn’t seem fair. Why should these kids have to cover up those mops just because of some antiquated rule that takes the players’ safety into concern? It’s an injustice to the players and it’s an injustice to all of us who are watching at home. Let those mullies flow in the wind as these savages rip up and down the ice.

Either way, let’s take a peek at some of the beauties that we’ll probably be seeing at the end of the tournament video next week.

If you’ve been following The Tourney for a few years now, chances are you remember the name Dallas Duckson. I mean how could you possibly forget that name? And how could you possibly forget his showing from last season?

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Mahtomedi may have ditched the bleached blonde look this year but I think that decision served Double D well here. It’s great to see his transition from a Flow Boy to a Flow Man. They grow up so fast.

Now the one issue with the All Hockey Hair Team picking up so much attention over the years is that unfortunately, some guys attempt to play it up for the cameras just a bit too much. You can always tell when the boys are trying too hard and being too extra just to get a shoutout on the video. But when you’ve got a mop like Derek Dropik, it would be a crime against humanity to not show that thing off to the world in all it’s glory. Ample volume, plenty of bounce, well-trained and sits right back into place after the flip. It’s that level of hair maturity that you’re really looking to see out of a senior captain. Speaking of senior captains…

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It breaks my heart that Thief River got bounced from The Tourney last night because the world deserves to see more Brady Anderson. For starters, the name alone just screams “American Hero” to me. Pick up truck drivin, cold beer drinkin, two golden retriever havin’ slick son of a bitch. Then you add that ultra exaggerated mullet and muzzy combo into the mix and you realize that we’re witnessing a legend in the making here. Flowseidon move over, Brady Anderson is here to take the Throne.

I can always appreciate when guys try to switch it up every now and then. Mostly what we see out fo the All Hockey Hair Team is extra greasy and extra juicy long flowing locks of flowetry. Plenty of mullets and plenty of muzzies. So when you see a kid try to carve out his own style to separate himself from the pack, obviously it’s a huge risk he’s taking and you have to respect that. Am I necessarily the biggest fans of the lines? Ehhhh, not my style. But I appreciate the fact that he went there.

Also–bottom right in that photo?

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Talk about a fucking legend. You see that kid roaming the halls at school and you know you’re in the presence of a true Alpha. You just instinctively get that lunch money out of your pockets and hand it to him with zero questions asked.

P.S. – We have Herb Brooks’ grandson, Joe Paradise, playing in the tournament this year. Obviously with that bloodline, we were expecting to see some big things out of the kid. And it pleases me to announce that he most certainly did not disappoint. Had a couple of genos on the day and also broke out the best celly of the tournament so far.

@BarstoolJordie