You Have To Be The Biggest Idiot in the World To Buy This $400 Shohei Ohtani Autographed Baseball

How in the world is this signed baseball worth $400? I’m not even hating on my arch-nemesis Shoehei Ohtani here. Well, I sorta am because only an asshole signs their name like that. Are we even sure what language that’s in? If you showed me that baseball I would have absolutely zero clue who that was and Shohei Ohtani’s name would be at the bottom of the barrel of guesses. That fact alone has to deface the value of the baseball. Four hundred dollars for that is outrageous. What’s the point in owning a big name player’s signed baseball if no one on planet Earth can recognize it? That is a legitimate doctor’s work of art. I mean there’s just no way he signs a baseball or anything like that every time. That has to take a good thirty seconds from start to finish and lots of concentration.

Another factor you have to consider is that you could easily get an Ohtani signed ball at one of his games. We have no idea how generous he’s going to be as he walks around the field before the game. You could very well get this doctor’s signature for the price of zero dollars. Spending almost half a grand on something that could pass for an entire different language is about as horrible a way to spend that kind of money that I can think of.