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Chelsea Just Had Perhaps The Worst Wheel Of Fortune Performance Of All Time

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For a while I’ve noticed people are really bad at Wheel of Fortune. Like, really, really, really bad. Any time I catch it on TV I’ve noticed the contestants have no idea how to play optimally, maximize their winnings, and give themselves the best chance to win. So a couple weeks ago I started tweeting about mistakes people on WoF make. Things like this:

Just completely mindless, terrible WoF plays that anyone who took basic 7th grade math would know is bad.

Then I decided, hey, maybe I’ll start showing just how bad some people play this rather simple game. This was an all-timer:

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And this one really annoyed me too:

That one just makes ZERO sense. If you know the answer, picking “P” there is so stupid. Why wouldn’t you pick a letter you know there are 2 of? It’s crazy how mindless people play the game!

Which brings us to tonight.

Chelsea.

She seems like a nice gal. I’m sure she is a wonderful person. But she is TERRIBLE at Wheel of Fortune. Let’s go to the video:

Not only did she hear the girl JUST try to buy an A no fewer than 20 seconds ago, contestants also have an off-camera board that displays all the letters which have been called.

But ok, fine. We all make mistakes. It happens.

So without further ado, let’s roll video number 2:

SHE BOUGHT A VOWEL THAT IS ON THE BOARD! A VOWEL THAT IS LIT UP ON THE GINORMOUS BOARD RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER!

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There’s being bad at Wheel of Fortune, and then there’s whatever this is. Maybe she was nervous under the cameras and lights? I don’t even know. I think there’s a strong, and I mean STRONG chance that Chelsea is literally a robot and was programmed to buy those vowels at those exact times. That’s the most reasonable explanation I can come up with. Try to prove to me she’s not a programmed robot, you can’t.

This is why we watch the show though, folks. I just watch it, night after night, in disbelief of how many mistakes people make. Like people who buy 4 vowels in a row for absolutely no reason. I’m told by sources (yeah I have WoF sources, nbd) that the producers encourage the contestants to buy as many vowels as they can. I assume it’s because the more letters on the board, the better it is for TV to get people guessing at home. Buying vowels is usually a bad strategy, but you see people burn money on the show nightly. My only regret is I didn’t start using Twitter for this purpose sooner because god damnit people are so bad at the game and it’s easily the best thing I’ve ever used Twitter for.