Where Does All The Semen Go In Movie Sex Scenes?

Earlier this afternoon, I saw this question on twitter.

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Obviously, my answer was that I hate that movie people act like people don’t cum. Sure, they moan and whathaveyou, but there’s no liquid. No matter. No juice de la penis that comes out. In my experience, that’s simply not the case.

Although I’ve had a vasectomy, I am still able to produce more than my share of ejaculate. Every time that I’ve had sex, well most of the time, there’s been something to clean up. You grab your lady a nice rag, baby wipe, or even an old shirt to clean up with.

The woman waddles to the bathroom with her legs clenched tight like an owl’s mouth taking a letter back to the students at Hogwarts.

The woman then sits on the toilet and then pisses all the cum out and then comes back to the bed to hold hands and watch the Office. That’s how it happens in real life, fellas.

In the movies, women’s vaginas are basically like a Shamwow. In real life, you cant dump a gallon of grape juice in a vagina and have no spills. There’s gonna be spills. Trust me on that. Plus the sugar content of grape juice is outrageous. It can lead to yeast infections. Not good.

The movie coochies soak up the cum like there aint no tomorrow. The women can just toss on their jeans and go about their day. The fellas do too. There’s no cleaning of the penis. There’s no pissing with a fucked up stream. There’s no realness. It’s amazing that we have the modern ability to make Harry from Harry and the Henderson look like an actual sasquatch but we cant make people clean up cum.

It was cum stuff first. Second: why do they only take one bite of toast, a sip of orange juice and then hurry out the door? You dont want those eggs, pal? Seems wasteful.