OH MY GODDDDDDD. We’ve seen Zion Williamson dunk on the small children of the South Carolina High School Basketball League for decades now. But I think this one takes the cake. What he just did to number 4, whether it was on purpose or by mistake, was the most #disre2pectful thing I have ever seen. It’s one thing to dunk on a kid or block a shot to another dimension. It is quite another to flatten a kid’s face with a basketball during the Internet Era. But that’s exactly what Zion did now that he went full heel after committing to Coach K and the Dukies.
Shout out to number 4 for taking his lump and not collapsing to the floor. He probably shaved a cool 100K off the retweet numbers by blindly inbounding the ball while still in shock like a soldier on the shores of Normandy as someone stopped the ball from bouncing all the way to halfcourt. A lesson to all the kids out there. If Zion Williamson is about to dunk, act like the basket is the sun during a solar eclipse. Only look up at your own risk. And shout out to number 11 and his peripheral vision. He saw Zion ready to turn someone else into a viral victim and instead limbo’d his way the fuck out of internet infamy.
If Zion stays on this warpath, he is about to have a red carpet rolled out every time he is within 10 feet of the rim. Other teams will let Zion put up 100 per game and celebrate he is finally graduating this June.
And while I may hate Zion for choosing Duke, I will love him when he saves the dunk contest in 2 years. Shit, the fact he almost finished this in a game means he could have won/saved the dunk contest last Saturday.
But still, fuck Duke.