(The Star) – York Regional Police tweeted on Tuesday that marijuana doesn’t increase the growth of breasts in men after one of its officers told high school students at a panel last week that “doobies make boobies.”
At a meeting last week at its Aurora headquarters, the York Catholic school board gathered students to give them a chance to ask experts about the drug, with recreational marijuana use becoming legal this summer.
Representatives from York Regional Police, public health and the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health were there to discuss the effects of pot use.
Nigel Cole, a drug recognition officer with York Regional Police, is quoted in the transcript as telling students “there are studies that marijuana lowers your testosterone; we call it ‘doobies make boobies.’ We’re finding 60 per cent of 14-year-olds are developing ‘boobies.’ ”
“Smoking marijuana does not give you (larger) breasts,” Dr. John Harrison, the chief scientific officer of TeamMD, a holistic wellness team based in Toronto, told the Star in an interview. “Marijuana does impact hormones but by no means does it give anyone breasts. That’s what you call knowledge going the wrong way. There’s no scientific basis that I know of.”
According to Harrison, “millions of men smoke marijuana and you don’t see millions of men walking around with pronounced breast tissue. The comment defies common sense.”
Cole also said half of a joint “is equivalent to seven alcoholic beverages,” and stated that users would not be able to walk in a straight line, or touch a finger to their nose after smoking.
Harrison said it’s unclear where the officer is “pulling these numbers from. Any average person that has seven drinks is legally intoxicated,” Harrison said. “There are lots of factors that go into how much marijuana is etching your lungs. No amount of THC can intoxicate you like alcohol because the compounds are different. Anyone who has taken in cannabis use will tell you that half a joint does not equal seven drinks.”
No one, and I mean no one, has a lower opinion of Officer Nigel Cole than Doctor John Harrison. I clicked on this story with full intention of being irate and ready to berate whoever was wandering around Canada telling the teens that “doobies grow boobies” until I read the good word Dr. Harrison was spreading. Mayweather fights don’t have as many clean blocks and counters as Harrison-Cole. “That’s what you call knowledge going the wrong way” is the nicest way I’ve ever heard someone call another person a dumbass ever in my life. Just terrifically Canadian and super polite while insulting an officer of the law’s intelligence.
And it’s easy to see what happened here. Recreational marijuana is always met with opposition any time it pops up in a new place. It’s just the way it is for now, whatever. Officer Cole was tasked with dissuading the teens from getting on the weed and was a little in over his head. He came up with a big time rhyme scheme and a very serious threat and thought he scared those kids for life. No guy wants breasts. As a card carrying member of the men with breasts club I can assure you of such. If you told an impressional Mick that weed accelerated male breast growing I’d never go anywhere near the devil’s lettuce. But even then, Dr. Harrison still would’ve been looming on the horizon, waiting to dunk all over the “doobies make boobies” propaganda with facts and logic. Like all he needs to do is carry around a picture of Uncle Snoop in his wallet and that theory gets volleyball spiked into the ground and explodes, game over, everyone go home.
PS – Half a joint is equal to SEVEN (7) alcoholic beverages? I fuckin’ wish, pal.
PPS – You want kids to stay off the weed, just hire Stephen A. Smith to come to your high school. Guy has never needed facts to win an argument and no one has ever hated anything more than he hates marijuana cigarettes. Not even Dr. Harrison would dare tango with Stephen A.