"Miley Cyrus Gang" In Joliet Will Kick Your Ass For No Reason, So Maybe Steer Clear Of Joliet For A While

The Miley Cyrus Gang unleashed a vicious beating on two men and a woman in a Joliet bar after bandying about racial slurs and taunting a man for drinking “Mexican beer,” said one of the the alleged victims of the Sunday night attack. “There was a racial slur about him being a Mexican and he (was) drinking a Corona beer and that he should be drinking American beer instead of a Mexican beer and told him to go over and sit over at the other end of the bar with all of the other Mexicans,” Donnie Rice of Joliet said of the man first allegedly targeted by at least three young men in the Hickory Street bar Lety’s place.

The three men—Daniel Lahey, 26, of 2424 Morning Glory Lane in Crest Hill, Robert Krapil, 27, of 2806 Amanda Court in Joliet, and Ryan Elliot, 27, of 1310 Cora St. in Joliet—and possibly two more also “started talking about Miley Cyrus” before attacking bar patrons, police said. Rice confirmed the Miley Cyrus Gang said “something about Miley Cyrus” before launching their attack.

Rice said the gang began beating the Hispanic man and his girlfriend—whom he did not know but stepped in to try to save. “I was just trying to protect one of the guys and the girl getting beat up and then they just switched from beating that guy and the girl up to me,” said Rice, who two days later sports a pair of blackened eyes from the thrashing he took. Rice said he felt the need to step in because the Hispanic man “was done. he was knocked out.” “He was knocked out and they were still kicking him in the face and stepping on the back of his head and still hitting him, kicking him while he was down,” said Rice, who had stopped into the bar to drop off food for his daughter, an employee of the place.

Fucking Joliet. NOT helping your reputation guys. It’s one thing to be the Nascar/Crocodil capital of Illinois but this? A Miley Cyrus gang running around town bashing the fuck out of skulls for no apparent reason? Rein it in. This is not a good look. And yes I realize Chicago has a million murders a year and has bigger things to worry about but on a fundamental level, not being able to talk about Miley Cyrus at a bar because you’re afraid of getting knocked into a coma is just a strange predicament to find yourself in. Joliet zigging where everyone else zags. Bar brawls over girls and pride are things of the past, bar brawls about a teenage pop singer, all day everyday in Joliet Illinois.

PS

I will give Joliet this, the CPX paintball field that is roughly 10 billion acres is awesome.