I am so jealous Philadelphians get to root for Joel Embiid for the rest of his career. The fact that Philly would never see a Super Bowl in any of their lifetimes made me feel better that they had a super talented, super hilarious, walking sound bite playing for them (unless it’s a back-to-back). But Big Dick Nick poked a fatal gash through that silver lining while my personal unicorn is recovering from a torn ACL. Life comes at you fast.
And for the young’ns out there that don’t realize it, Embiid’s line is a nod to maybe the greatest urban legend of all-time that Dikembe Mutombo used to scream “Who wants to sex Mutombo” while at Georgetown in his signature Cookie Monster voice.
Dikembe Mutombo: Legend.
Joel Embiid: Legend In Training.
Okay he’s already probably a legend. Being a Philadelphia sports fan must be so much fun right now. Fuck.
And of course we printed shirts (click shirt to buy).