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The Big Olympic Tourist Attraction is Penis Park

Source - An extraordinary park in South Korea where everything is shaped like a penis has been inundated with fascinated tourists visiting the nearby Winter Olympics.

The port city of Sinnam is home to Haesindang Park, better known as ‘Penis Park’ – a monument to fertility born from a legend about a virgin and a fish. …

A normally obscure attraction, the park is drawing curious crowds of visitors from the nearby Winter Olympics in Pyeongchang just an hour away.

The unusual site features penis totem poles, penis benches and penis wind chimes. There is even a penis-shaped cannon, with a warning to tourists that it should not be mounted.

‘I’ve been all over the world and I’ve never seen anything like this,’ said Keith Childs, a Londoner visiting the park with other people working at the Pyeongchang Olympics.

The legend behind the park has been painstakingly chiselled into a row of stone penises. It tells of a virgin who died in a storm as her boyfriend collected seaweed from a rock in a nearby cove.

According to one version of the legend, the village was unable to catch fish after she died until one fisherman urinated into the sea, somehow satisfying the virgin’s spirit.

I’m with with Keith Childs on this one. I’m not going all the way to Pyeongchang and not budgeting some time to go visit Penis Park. Are you kidding me? An hour away? How could you not? I mean, I know you go to an Olympics hoping to see as many events as you can to get your money’s worth. But at some point it’ll hit you that Skeleton is just Face-First Luge on Your Belly and decide it’s time for a change of scenery. And you’re not gonna not go see the giant stone dicks.

I once went on a trip across country and we went three hours out of our way to go see Mt. Rushmore. And what is that? Four giant heads I can see by pulling bills out of my wallet. Hell, Clark Griswold took the family four hours away to see the second largest ball of twine in the world (pardon the lousy quality):

We always hear that the Olympics are a chance to showcase your culture to the world in a spirit of international cooperation. And when your culture involves a fisherman pissing into the ocean to satisfy a dead virgin and save the town, you’ll want to show that off to everybody.

I was the happiest guy in Massachusetts when Boston: 2024 swirled the drain because of what a nightmare and financial boondoggle it was going to be. Now I’m doubly glad because the Freedom Trail, Bunker Hill Monument and Old Ironsides would be pretty lame after the international community has been to Penis Park.